Feeling ‘Stuck?’ This Might Be Why….
Everyone has within them a slate of beliefs and assumptions; including limiting beliefs and false assumptions. I think it is right here where so many people, including myself, get stuck in life and leadership. We buy into our limiting beliefs and false assumptions and positive forward movement ends.
As I’ve thought about my own limiting beliefs and false assumptions, I’ve also visited with other clergy in a variety of contexts. I think there are some common limiting beliefs and false assumptions among clergy which include the following:
- The pastor has to be the expert.
- The pastor is “THE” leader of the church.
- This church will never change.
- The laity don’t appreciate me or respect me.
- And many more…
Personally, my primary limiting belief has been that I need to be the expert. As I look back on my leadership and my role as pastor in local churches I can see where that belief has, occasionally, propelled me to be better because I’ve done the work to become an ‘expert’ on a situation, topic, or issue. However, more often, this has been a limiting belief and false assumption that has kept me from asking for help where needed, or from seeking out a true expert for help, or from developing another leader who actually has the potential to lead in that situation, topic, or issue. I discovered this limiting belief through working with my coach, visiting with a mentor, and through the process of professional coach training.
This new awareness came about very much like the metaphor of peeling an onion. It was not the issue I thought I was working on, rather, it became the issue as we peeled back the onion layer after layer until I was suddenly aware that this limiting belief was what I really need to work on. As I worked with my coach I found myself becoming more and more curious about ‘what was underneath’ the issue I thought I was working on. My coach asked the clarifying questions that allowed me to finally articulate my limiting belief. In the act of articulating my limiting belief I became aware of having a new perspective on the situation and therefore open to new ways of understanding the situation. We were drilling down below the surface issue to the core of the real issue and new awareness was created.
As I reflect on this experience I can see where my coach was listening for the bigger context, missing pieces, and especially for when the ‘shift’ happened in my thinking. He maximized that moment with powerful questions and affirmation which solidified my new awareness. I also realize that I may never have reached this new awareness without the help of a professional coach. This may illustrate another limiting belief or false assumption that many, if not most, pastors have, ‘I’m all alone in this.’ Pastor, you don’t have to do life and ministry alone!
If you want to know more about coaching just look at my new coaching page on this blog, HERE…
Grace and Peace, Rich